Banana and bacon pizza! Who would have guessed?!

Its called 'fiji' ... Do they eat this in Fiji? Probably not... But will continue to eat it here. The banana is subtly sweet and just creamy enough to match with the mozzarella cheese, tangy tomato sauce, and salty bacon. Try it at any romans pizza joint near you! ... If you are in South Africa ,near a major city. Oh yea I'd recommend getting the thick crust. The toppings could get a little much if you go thin crust.

'Fiji' pizza at Romans Pizza
R54 ($7.70) for a medium that serves 2-3.
Follow it up with a fruit juiced cosmo in a pouch. They are meant to be frozen so check it!
Michael Akshay

Veggie cheese stew w/ wild rice and ...

Warm doughnuts w/ banana and custard... Easyyyyy

Forget the stew it was ok.

Dessert:
3 doughnuts, one banana , pre-made custard... Or you can make some custard just make sure it is chilled .

Smash and heat the doughnuts ... You will smell them when they are done . Mash the banana. Douse with the cool custard and serve. Yum.

I am developing a desert with the local bogobe.

Michael Akshay

Breakfast of champions.

Oatmeal.
Protein powder.
Fruit.
Seafood Ramen.
Crackers.
Tea.

My stomach is confused.

Michael Akshay

'Chomie Rice

So I made up a dish, Chomie Rice. Homie means friend for rice.

Chomie Rice:
2 cups of rice.
1 tabs of oil
Rice spice (garam masala will work)
1/2 onion
1 red apple
Pinch of rock salt
Few grinds of black pepper
Sprinkle of cayenne pepper
2 1/2 cups of water
1 can of beans in tomato sauce.
Beetroot ( I use beetroot in vinegar)

Instructions:
Cook the onion , rice spice, apple pepper and salt until the onions and apples are soft.

Pour half cup of water and cayenne and let it simmer.

Add rice drained beans and water.
Let cook until rice is soft.
Add beat root for color and as an added bonus of flavor.

Love it.

P.s its called chomie rice because it makes me some friends from both the flies and my 3 year old host niece.

Michael Akshay

I'm with a friend eating Minnesota.

Seriously , knorrs is soooo damn good and healthy? Sure .
Michael Akshay

The return of sempe!

And a picture of a goat! I'm going to Polokwane to eat food. I'm also dreaming of chocolate french toast.
Michael Akshay

Fist fighting typical lunch. Fighting on a moving bus.

Slim on words today. Bogobe, beatroot, cabbage, chicken.

I was on my way home on one of the public transportation buses when this woman who was carry a baby came to the back of the bus, dropped off her kid, went to the front of the bus and started to get in a fist fight. She lost the fight ... I didn't know a weave was that strong. The other girl was holding her weaved in wig with one hand and pummeling her with the other one. Classic... Who says the bus is boring? I sure as hell didn't. I'm glad its the only way to get to my village.

For dinner I made a beef sausage stew . My principal made some bogobe and we showed down. Pleasant end to a hilarious day.
Michael Akshay

The goats eat them. The kids eat them . I eat them.

I try and work out everyday. Whether it be sit ups, ab work, or running I usually find myself accompanied by at least eight 10 year olds. So basically by working out I mean goofing off with a bunch of kids. It also means I get to find out what the local delicacies are. I went on a half -run/ walk with the kids where they showed me the following edible items. The green balls are quite sour, almost lime like but there is not enough flesh as the pit takes up most of the fruit. Still nice though. The second, (in the spiky looking case) is comparable to a stringy- cotton candy-esq tasting vegetable . It is a hit or miss though because if it isn't at the perfect ripeness it sucks.

Tonight I'm eating potatoes ... Or something with potatoes in it.
Michael Akshay

Today's lunch

I'm at my second school... Two words.... Lunch provided! Sweet. I had Bogobe , cabbage, taters, and some CHICKEN.

I think ill write a review for the place it came from... My last review of lime cafe was a bit lack luster ... Hold up I think they are killing a chicken outside. Peace!
Michael Akshay

Yesterday I made dinner.

I made a hearty Boers Soup.

Here is the recipie:
1 onion (medium sized)
1 table spoon of garlic.
Black pepper ( add to taste)
Sweet basil
1/2 tsp of salt
Whole pumpkin(squash)
2 cups of Heavy cream
1/2 tsp Cinnamon
About 8 inches of bratwurst or boer woors.
2 tomatoes.
1/2 tbs of spicy curry
1 cup of rice.
1/2 cup of water.
*you can add a potatoes if you want I didn't have any so I didn't.

RICE:
Cook the rice separately. Add. One and a half parts water to one part rice, no need to season the rice because it is added to the soup.

Soup:
Remove the bratwurst filling and cook with a diced onion and tomato for 15 minutes or until done. Remove and put into a separate bowl. Next steam the pumpkin until soft. Mash the pumpkin, add the cream, cinnamon and salt. Mash again until smooth.
Combine meat and pumpkin (squash) mixture
In large pot. Add curry ,black pepper and water simmer for 15 minutes. Your rice should be done you can either mix the rice in with the soup or pour the soup over the rice. I added the rice and cooked it a bit longer. Enjoy.


Side note: The second photo is what we call soft porridge. I am not that fond of it taste wise .... Ill give it a chance... I wasn't that fond of goat intestines at first either.

Michael Akshay

Have you ever seen the inside of a pit latrine? I have.

6:30 am: I hear a big old 'CRASH'. Followed by what sounds like a bunch of joyous screams.
6:31 am: I stay in bed... Despite the commotion outside.
6:34 am: my host mother swings my door open yelling something about a toilet.
6:35 am - 6:39 am: I get up, lumber around , smell my breath, decide to brush my teeth later , throw on a shirt and head out to the side yard... Where I see this... Our neighbors out house.... In the pit latrine.

Now things like this don't go unnoticed for long. In a matter of minutes we had probably half of the village at our neighbors house. Some of the women were crying, while the men kind of stood around and scratched their heads. I too scratched my head... How did the toilet end up in the put latrine? Well it looks like the concrete slab collapsed under its own weight.
We( the men) gathered around the toilet and decided to salvage it. We tied ropes and beat at its still attached base. It was actually quite effective and we ended up removing it quite fast. Oh yea if you are wondering what inside of a pit latrine? Maggots, cockroaches, jars and oh yea shit.


P.s I haven't eaten breakfast today... I might not as I was planning to have a chocolate protein shake with yogurt... Eh I might have it anyway.
Michael Akshay

Dinner

.. I ate kfc today... The mayo was thick . I had a banana for a rand... 14 cents. I came home and ate some chicken and rice. Dessert? Why I had pre-made custard and some biscuits. I feel sluggish. I bought some protein shake mix. I'm training for a marathon. I feel sluggish... No more crap food after these simbas.
Michael Akshay

Lunch today.

I had a really simple lunch today consisting of; a grape, left over seasoned rice, chicken and wheat bread. It was a great lunch. The kids today had the equivalent of ' mystery meat ' and porridge. I had it once... And swore off of it after two bites. Ill try it again some other time ... Maybe the cooking staff will let me pull a Jamie Oliver and make the kids a seasoned meal... Multiple courses? We'll see. I'm going to the grocery store tomorrow. On the instruction of my 8 year old host nephew I am to but: simba (potato chips) custard, sweets, cake, chocolate, pie, nama and rice... That's all the food groups right? Right. Sidenote: I'm going to start posting my own cooking creations. I do cook but rarely as most of my meals come from my family. I just buy the ingredients in bulk . Happy eating.
Michael Akshay

Dear Lychee

Dear Lychee.
I just wanted you to know... when I lived in Chicago you made my girl's martini 'sippable'. You beckon me as though I have never tasted a fruit before. I think you are as elegant as you are fashion forward with your studded slip. Passion fruit has nothing on you. what else can I tell you? I love you? I don't know if we should go there yet. Commitment. Your exterior may be rough but I see past it. For I know if I peel away your brash exterior that there is a softer. sweeter. side. Its a personal experience one has with you. A moment when everything around me seems to slow down....ok now that I'm done lusting after one amazing fruit let me just say that the people I work with are amazing. I woke up this morning and mixed together about half of a jar full of some sardines and vegetable atchar. I arrived at school to find out that one of my coworkers had cooked me lunch! sweet. She had cooked me a wonderful fillet of fish along with some steamed vegetables. Here every time I have vegtables they seem to be cooked into oblivion... I think I used the term nuked one time well today they were done perfectly! We all tend to share our lunches so I ended up eating my fish, along with some chicken, steamed veggies, rice, sardines and some atchar. What a fantastic day. I need a nap. The kids had sempe along with some cabbage. Sempe is a bean and maize mixture that is, I want to say boiled but I'm not sure. I actually like the sempe (pronounced Semp-AY)as it is quite healthy and filling. Sidenote: I'm sitting in my room listening to my next door neighbor blast some 90's R&B... so far I've heard Aaliyah , Babyface, Celine Dion and Whitney Houston. I'm waiting for some Mariah and if I'm lucky enough Michael Bolton. Another side note, Michael Bolton is a God out here. I use to listen in college with my ex-girlfriend as a joke. But they are serious about their bolton. They know every word and every melody. It still brings a tear to my eye. Its almost as beautiful as their love for Bryan Adams. As one individual told me " this is the kind of music you listen to with your wife" ha ohhhh Michael Bolton.... Boyz II Men just came on. ( if you don't know who Michael Bolton or Bryan Adams are... Google them... And what were you doing during the 90's?)
Michael Akshay

My Lunch today.

Today for lunch I had some jungle instant oats... Semi salty, sweet and oh so yummy. I washed it down with a corn based liquid ... Its thick. Yes corn based .... Think a fantastic sort of sour sludge. Can I make sludge sound appetizing? Nope.

The kids had pilchards ( a larger sardine) and rice. More rice than fish but hey at least they are getting their 1 of 3 weekly servings of oily fish. I'm planning on making something epic so next time I get paid I'm going to splurge, buy my ingredients and create!

Side note: you can eat canned tuna every 4 days if you weigh 150 lb +. Otherwise consult the NRDC for further information. Tidbits.
Michael Akshay

I didn't get that cheese burger... It was a double breakfast... brunch kind of a day.

I had a very simple breakfast followed by a second breakfast. Every morning I usually will have a bite to eat and a cup of tea with one or two of my coworkers. Today we had some lychees , a huge banana, and some instant oats, all washed down by a glorious cup of tea. I had made arrangements with my friend Maggie to make a cheeseburger run in Polokwane. It took two hours to get to Polokwane but we made it. Bus followed by crazy taxi, I almost died twice. Upon arriving I felt the need to quell my need of coffee. I don't do instant. I remembered having a good cup at a cafe in standard bank square so that was where we headed. We marched upstairs where we made our way to Cafe Lime. The cafe and our stomachs were empty so we decided to take a seat outside on the patio. We took one look at the menu... Sold, cheeseburgers out the window. The menu looked fantastic. It had a lot of familiar items... Like french toast... With pesto? I'll try that one next time. No but really they had a wide range of toasted sandwiches, salads and tons of really tasty sounding breakfast items. I ended up having an iced coffee and an omelet with bacon, cheese and tomato. Talk about a wonderful second breakfast! The eggs were perfectly cooked and the ingredients were superb. The coffee was thrown in a blender and crushed to oblivion, a bit weird but refreshing non the less. Our waitress was a blast and the service compared to all of the 'pay no attention to the customer' service we had received elsewhere was great. I highly recommend this place if you are looking for great food, coffee and atmosphere. They had a slew of deserts outside so on my next go around ill hit those up. Oh yea the damage... R66 or about $9.70 for a great second breakfast. A keeper in my book.


Michael Akshay

I lied the goat isn't all gone.

Bogobe, part of the goats spine , and a pretty damn good tomato sauce. All three are a great match. You have the heavy-stomach filling porridge, matched with the subtle gameness of the meat and the sweetness of the fresh tomato-onion puree. These three come together to never over-ride each other but to compliment each other. Exquisite lunch.

In normal terms: I had a really bomb lunch. Baa ba baaa
Michael Akshay

Today's Rocket: A memory log.

Salmon fume. Sorry Salmon Fuuuuuume. Think about it. You are in a nice little french bistro , you know the one across the street from Athropologie and Barnes and noble. You've placed your order. You are excited. You keep your attention to your cup of coffee, waiting. You glance at the kitchen doors, every time they swing open you hear the clink and clatter of the kitchen staff hard at work on your salmon fume. Salmon fume, a wonderful mix of smoked salmon, poached egg and hollindaise sauce, draped over a perfectly toasted English muffin. There is something so perfect about it. Its all you can think about, all you want. Then finally you hear a small commotion behind you and out it comes. You look up and follow the plate as it comes to its final resting place... right. in. front. of. You. The waiter will tell you the plate is hot , so caution is advised, do you listen? Hell no. you grab the sucker and pivot it, those two plump English muffins cradleing the eggs and upgraded special sauce. Then you wake up and realise you are in Africa and that goat guts, chicken innards , and things called Bors Woors grace every menu .. at least twice. You are ok with it. Infact you are proud of yourself for broading your culinary horizons. Even if they strecth as long as a chickens intestine as you pick it up and let it slip back onto your plate. I gnawed on a Goat head yesterday and scooped it's brains out with my right index and middle finger. Its actually moments like these that I want to say, "eff off salmon fume." I wasn't going to get full off of you any ways. Africa is a great place because it you consume as much as you can in one sitting. Left overs are ok but you sure as hell better eat them tomorrow. There are only two other places I think that I can actually leave feeling like I have successfully eaten my share of amazing food and don't feel guilty about it,the Odima's and my Mother's house.
My Mother's house where some insane cooking/ experimenting/ pluses and minues happen on a regular basis. I was always the weird kid with weird things like egg plant in his lunch box. Try trading that for a snack pack. I was always wanting a taste of what ever thing my mother was eating. My mother used to say it has a 'grown up' taste. I never understood that but I envied it. I wanted my taste buds to be that advanced. To distiguish and accept odd and intruiging flavors. I whole heartdly place my discearning palate on my mother creations. Its funny what happens when your family leaves beef behind. My mother is probably the reason my obsession with food has lasted this long. It was always encouraged and nurtured. I remember watching her take left over pie crust throwing some butter, sugar and cinnamon in it, wrapping it up and throwing it in the oven. Amazing. I suggest you try it. Either way you look at it nothing beats your mother's cooking.
The Odima's make such wonderful food from the simplest ingredients …. it amazes me . I never could grasp the simplicity of a soup with rice until I started eating there. The fascination I had with the simple grilling of meat and the consuming of that meat with only meat and maybe some potato chips. Its authentic and true. Meat. Mr Odima would sit there on his stool and grill. We should all be greatful for fire. Its a beautiful thing when you can create something so simple yet so G-d damn amazing that you wouldn't trade it for anything else …. well besides your mother's turkey, rice, onion, yellow raisin stuffed red peppers. Don't get me started on her other witty cookbook/ self made creations. Shrimp diablo anyone? For some reason I've come to miss food. Good food, greasy food, home cooked food, food from target even. My fondest memories can be categorized by what we were eating at the time. Food I've found is the language of every culture (especially fried chicken. I hope that it is still $4.99 at Target... I don't give a shit about what is pumped into it... comfort food for the homies and cheap).
The photo I attached inspired this ode/rant. It was two poached eggs, over two pieces of grilled tomato, over a bed of rocket, on two lightly buttered pieces of whole wheat toast. Smashingly good and so simple. The perfect way to start off any day. I whole heartily suggest you all go out now to your local super markets buy the ingredients and make the damn thing.... eat it for me.... please.
Cheers and stuff your face with something tasty.

P.s ... Can I p.s on a blog? I'm going to travel two hours tomorrow so I can have a cheese burger... Seriously. Be thankful for what you have.
Michael Akshay

IMG-20110109-00581.jpg

I just thought I would upload this so you would get the full jist... Notice the nose.... And the hair.
Michael Akshay

Today's lunch: Baaaa Baa BA

lunch. I might have to rename this blog to "Today's Lunch". Well today I thought we were going to have a normal lunch of bogobe ( white porridge) morogo( still working on the spelling, but it is the native spinach) and some atchar. Boy was I wrong. For the last few days we've been having different parts of a goat they slaughtered around Christmas. Today I was informed that it was the last day we would be eating our goat friend as it was finished. Sitting on my perch next to the patriarch of the family we were presented with the head of 'the goat'. It came out gloriously and steaming. I instantly looked for the cheek , partially because it is a good piece of meat and because I've had it before. That piece was long gone. We were left with a lawless head. We gouged out the eyes , they were a bit acidic and artificial tasting. Gummy at first like a chewy candy with out the sweetness. We then moved onto the ears. The inside of the ear is wonderful. The ear itself .... Not so much - imagine a really chewy flavorless piece of edible rubber and that is what eating a goats ear is like. The piece de resistance was the brain. I had to go down to the cow corral and place the head on one of the stumps. I then took the back of a kitchen knife and gave it a few good whacks. I opened the sucker and ate a handful of.. Mmmmmmmmm steaming brains.... That was the end of the meal and even after washing my hands several times I still can't get the smell of goat brains off my hands. You are what you eat. Baa baa Ba
Michael Akshay
Michael Akshay

Today's lunch

Today's lunch. Today we had Porridge, Morogo (the green veggie , also known as wild spinach) a tomato based sauce and my kick ass store bought atchar. "What's the traditional method of eating ?" You ask. Well you take a chunk of the white stuff, roll it with one hand and dip into any of the given items on the plate.

Cheers mates, cheers.
Michael Akshay

Atchar... Vegtable atchar: turning any bland meal into an exciting mess!

My xmas eve dinner. Brown Bogobe (Porridge) and chicken. Trust me it was filling warm and delicious ! Seriously.

Red and char char chaR

Atchar. Atchar is one of the veins of my existence here... Well at least one of my culinary veins. Atchar comes in many variations. Mango and vegetable ... All of it is red and claims to be spicy. None of it is. The mango is pungent and has a faint resemblance to the Indian atchar I'm some what accustom to. On a recent expedition to my local grocery store ( A two or three hour over crowded bus ride to my quote n Quote ' shopping town) I went out on a limb and bought some vegetable atchar with the word Miami in it. My thought process; Miami, internationally known FUN ZONE so why not have an equally fun time with my atchar? Sidenote: there is something fluttering/ buzzing around my room. The last time I heard that sound there was a thump on my chest and a cockroach made a break for it ... A cockroach ran across my chest. Don't worry I hunted the little SOB down. Where was I? Oh yea vegetable atchar... Right. I avoided it for a while. I ate a few pb sandwiches. Sorry I scarffed a few pb sandwiches. But there it stood in my pantry with its evanescent red glow... I couldn't resist. I leaped from my bed and slowly cracked open the jar. I took a big whiff and to my surprise... I was hit with the smell of India. Inja Palace ( the local Indian cow trough and the family favorite Indian joint.) was right in front of me. I slathered it on some bread and the rest is history. another side note: I ate a 2 day old sausage that had been sitting out and it went down great and came out even better.

Looking at my pantry.

My village in Africa can be summed up in one dish, goat innards and Bogobe (white porridge). The dish is quite simple. First you need a goat. You kill the goat, no thanks for your contribution, just a dull knife to the throat. You then run that dull blade from the top of the neck to the crotch, making sure not to pierce the chest cavity below. After peeling away the skin you make a quick stab at the body releasing all of the hot air. Slowly but surely you remove all of the innards. The stomach, liver, intestines, heart and the kidneys. What ever else is floating around is usually discarded or given to a local lucky dog. My favorite process is up next removing the predigested food ( and the flavoring for our dish) out of the still warm stomach. To remove the shit out of the intestines one simply has to hold one end and pull through the clasped fingers... Leaving a mound of normal looking crap on the ground. It is quite interesting to see the evolution of shit as it passes through the system of the goat. I'd imagine seeing A lot more trash but it is mostly green. After you have cleaned out everything. You throw it all in to a pot and cook the crap out of it, nuke it. Personally I enjoy a little bit of spicy chili in mine. Some of the pre digested food is used to make a wonderful soup that only smells better after a couple hours of cooking.

It took me A few tries to enjoy ... Errr like? The dish. It is the closest thing you will get To fine cheese, taste wise, in the more rural parts of africa. I still prefer to eat it in the dark, as the shapes do sometimes freak me out. I will try everything out here at least 3 or 4 times. Why not? Its food and if they can eat it so can I. So back to looking at my pantry. I have atchar, peanut butter, beans, rice and tuna.